And Randomness Ensues....

zwoelffarben:

hellenhighwater:

hellenhighwater:

fred-the-dinosaur:

fred-the-dinosaur:

hellenhighwater:

nobodywasneverhere:

hellenhighwater:

fishofthewoods:

hellenhighwater:

jackfromthefairytale:

hellenhighwater:

codebreakerblue:

hellenhighwater:

Well those are allllmost done

question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway

There’s eight actually but the last one is still in the garage

question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths

They’re actually a really dark purple

question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage

Some of them do have features though. There’s holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em

question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths

The heart wants what the heart wants

this reads like a muppet sketch

see? See!??!

You’re not wrong

This post is less than six months old.

Sometimes posts just, have olde tumblr post energy. And ya gotta live wit dat.

(via dduane)

kuivamustekala:

pinsque:

Finns are disappointed in streaming services and have started pirating again - “This is not how society works”, scolds copyright collective.

“Well fucking boohoo”, says an expert.

(via enkiduofvideogames)

tossawary:

Thinking about how Han Solo is apparently a regular visitor to Tatooine and Different First Meeting AUs… if Han Solo had fucked up and gotten into horrible debt earlier, maybe Jabba might’ve forced him to become a podracer or something. He IS a hell of a pilot. (He’s maybe even a little Force sensitive about it!) Humans don’t tend to have the reflexes for podracing, but that’s fine, because the crowd likes a good deadly explosion every now and again.

The funniest stupid thing that could happen here is some podracer promoter looking at Han Solo and going, “If that’s fake, that’s a stupid ass name. If that’s real, that’s stupid ass name; never use your real name. We’ve got to get you a gimmick, kid. We’ve got to make up a persona. We’re gonna sell a storyline, so you can do better for yourself than just helping Jabba fix the races to get the most of the sports betting money.”

(Download the new Duel of the Fans app for live betting on wins and crashes today!!!)

“There’s only been one human podracer of any note here, some really tiny kid about 30 years ago, and people still talk about it. So we’re gonna say you’re him all grown up and coming home. We’re gonna build on something here. No, I don’t know how humans age and I don’t care. You’ll be wearing a helmet most of the time, and then we’ll just say you look good for your age. Humans are ugly, who can tell? Kid, we’re going to make you a STAR.”

And fine, whatever, it works to start out with. Han is mainly focused on not dying, both on the racetracks and at Jabba’s terrible, non-stop parties he’s forced to attend sometimes. (Boba Fett SUCKS; Han would shove that guy into the sarlacc pit if he could get away with it.) He’s GOT to find a way to get himself and Chewie off of this awful sand planet…

And then this belligerent teenage farmkid shows up like, “I heard about your podraces on the radio! Are you my DAD?!?!” And also two Star Destroyers are suddenly looming overhead, full of Imperial Security Bureau agents AND Imperial Inquisitors, demanding to know how Jedi General Anakin Skywalker is alive and why he’s making dramatic villainous speeches kayfabe-style about how he’s going win the Mos Espa Belt for humans everywhere on the Coruscanti Galactic Sports Network’s Outer Rim Podracing channel.

(via kieranfae)

kedreeva:

worldheritageposts-official:

queersatanic:

lazorsandparadox:

eshlimoriarty:

largishcat:

anais-ninja-bitch:

thesylverlining:

alex51324:

roach-works:

whetstonefires:

luulapants:

ashtraythief:

yetanothergreyjedi:

mf-dooom:

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man’s boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you’re excited about it.

crane husband…..

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

• Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  
• As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  
• It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  
• Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  
• The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
• They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   
• Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris–and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  
• Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  
• Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  
• It worked!  
• Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility–sometimes the biological dad and his mate–both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  
• However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
• Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she’s simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and “sitting” on artificial eggs so she thinks he’s performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

“chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES.” (alternately: “chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She’s 36, she’s very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! …Is there a downside? WELL…”)

chris sits any potential human partners down, like “my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already… Attached” (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) “Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding… the relationship is open, but very committed”

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

Not only is he ‘married’ to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

World Heritage Post

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There’s a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is…) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don’t die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I’m certain she will be missed by folks here.

(via amazable01)

stealthwitch:

Diary of a Redwall Mouse

July 22nd: breakfasted on a lovely array of fresh strawberries and goat’s cheese with honey, oat cakes and barley porridge. For luncheon we feasted on a catch of smoked trout, vegetable stew, and of course a couple of flagons of October Ale

July 23rd: countless deaths

(via sayad1na)

salamandertoast:

i love b dylan hollis videos because he makes three (3) types of recipes:

• great depression inventions that sound bizarre but are actually delicious;
• ‘50s-’70s fad dishes that both look and taste like crimes against humanity;
• “salads” that are emphatically NOT salads that HE treats like crimes against humanity but that i, a midwesterner, regularly ate at potlucks growing up and never would have thought of as weird until he pointed it out

blastovkatamarinecromancy:

blizzardofjj:

Spot on 😆

(via enkiduofvideogames)